Does the Cohabitation Provision of the Alimony Reform Act Apply Retroactively?

At the end of July 2016, in Brumleave v. Ouellette, the Appeals Court decided the issue of whether a petitioner could seek a modification of alimony based solely on his ex Wife's cohabitation. While the Alimony Reform Act of 2011 allows for modification and termination of alimony should the recipient cohabitate for a period of 3 months or more, this provision does not apply retroactively. In other words, because the parties entered into their Separation Agreement prior to the Alimony Reform Act taking effect in 2012, the ex-husband cannot rely on it when seeking that his alimony order be modified or terminated. Instead, he has to show that a material change in circumstances occurred, that would warrant such a modification. For example, the Petitioner could show that due to his ex-Wife's cohabitation, her financial needs had decreased materially. Unfortunately for the Petitioner, the Wife was already cohabitating at the time that the alimony order was initially set, and her income subsequently decreased when child support terminated.

As such, the Appeals Court held that it was improper for the trial judge to reduce the Petitioner's alimony obligation from $1,000 to $550 per week.

The payment of alimony and whether it makes sense in a particular case is a complex issue worth speaking to an experienced attorney about. More and more information and guidance is being provided by the higher courts, which allows attorneys to better inform their clients. For this reason, it is worthwhile to speak with an attorney about your alimony questions, whether you are going through the divorce process or are seeking a modification of a prior judgment.



(c)2016 by Law Office of Leila J. Wons, P.C. The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established. In accordance with rules established by the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, this blog must be labeled "advertising."

Increasing the Length of Marriage for Alimony Purposes when the Parties have Cohabitated or had an Economic Marital Partnership Prior to Marriage

On June 15, 2016, the Supreme Judicial Court issued a decision on Ellen Duff-Kareores v. Christopher Kareores, in which they addressed the issue of calculating the length of a marriage for purposes of alimony under the alimony reform act.

This case was very unique, in that it involved parties who had divorced in 2004 after approximately 9 years of marriage, began cohabitating again in 2007, remarried in December 2012 and commenced divorce proceedings just 6 months later.  Under the alimony reform act (M.G.L. c. 208 § 48), the Trial Court Judge has the authority to extend the length of the parties’ marriage “if there is evidence that the parties’ economic marital partnership began during their cohabitation period prior to the marriage.” Since the terms “economic marital partnership” and “cohabitation” are not defined in the statute, the SJC weighed in on what factors the Judge should consider.

The Supreme Judicial Court looked at a related provision of the alimony reform act, which discusses the circumstances under which alimony may be reduced, terminated or suspended upon the cohabitation of the recipient spouse, when the spouse paying alimony shows that the recipient has maintained a common household with another person for a continuous period of at least 3 months. M.G.L. c. 208 § 49 (d).  This provision further provides that in order to determine whether or not a former spouse is maintaining a “common household”, the Court can consider the following factors: 

(i) oral or written statements or representations made to third parties regarding the relationship of the persons;

(ii) the economic interdependence of the couple or economic dependence of [one] person on the other;

(iii) the persons engaging in conduct and collaborative roles in furtherance of their life together;

(iv)  the benefit in the life of either or both of the persons from their relationship;

(v) the community reputation of the persons as a couple; or

(vi) other relevant and material factors.

                                                                                      G. L. c. 208, § 49 (d) (1)

Using the above definitions, as well as other considerations, the SJC concluded that only where the parties share a common household and are engaged in an economic marital partnership that a judge has discretion to increase the length of a marriage, or to suspend, reduce or terminate a general alimony award, and that the judge must consider the above factors in determining the definition of a “common household”, in order to ascertain whether the parties were participating in an economic marital partnership.

The Court further noted that even though the alimony reform act states that alimony cannot be reinstated after the recipient’s remarriage (except by the parties’ express written agreement), this doesn’t apply when the recipient has remarried or began cohabitating with the original, payor spouse.

Last, the Court addressed the question of whether or not the Judge could deviate in the calculation of the length of marriage, above and beyond consideration of the above factors (for example, could the Judge determine on his own that the length of the marriage for alimony purposes would be longer than the amount of time that the parties were actually married or cohabitating and engaged in an economic marital partnership?)  The SJC determined that no, the alimony reform act does not provide a Judge with discretion in calculating the length of a marriage other than as outlined above. The Judge can, however, deviate from the amount and duration of alimony payments, under M.G.L. c 208 § 53 (e).

SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR YOU?

First, even if you don’t remarry your ex-spouse, this holding would apply to any situation where the parties cohabitated and were engaged in an economic marital partnership prior to marriage, and alimony is at issue. It doesn’t mean that a Judge must extend the length of your marriage when there is evidence of cohabitation and an economic marital partnership; this is ultimately in the Judge’s discretion. However, the Judge must consider the definitions of cohabitation when making a determination of whether or not it actually occurred.

Second, this may be another incentive to consider a premarital (prenuptial) agreement. When negotiating the terms of a premarital agreement, the parties can discuss the factors that will be considered in setting the length of their marriage in the event of a divorce. While this language in and of itself won’t be controlling at the time of divorce (the court has to consider other factors when determining the validity of a premarital agreement), it can certainly assist the parties in planning their financial futures, and can show their intent.

            

             To discuss your alimony questions or concerns, contact Attorney Leila J. Wons for an initial consultation. 

(c)2016 by Law Office of Leila J. Wons, P.C. The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established. In accordance with rules established by the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, this blog must be labeled "advertising."

Communicating Effectively With Your Ex

For many couples who have broken up, separated or divorced, communication may be very difficult. This is especially true when children are involved, and the parties have to communicate regularly regarding parenting time, payment of expenses and child support. Often, communications become tense and difficult when one of the parties introduces a new significant other in the mix. Suddenly, what once was a working relationship or even a friendship is now constant bickering between two people who want nothing to do with each other.

When two people have to communicate for the sake of their children or in order to carry out the terms of their agreement or judgment, but they can't get more than two sentences out before erupting in a screaming match, what can they do?

First, restrict communication to writing, except in emergencies. Putting things in writing not only gives the parties a few more minutes to consider what they're "saying" before pressing the send button, but it also keeps a written record for everyone in case disagreements come up over what was discussed.

Next, keep communications limited to what the parties have in common. If they have to check in regularly regarding the children's activities, then restrict e-mails and text messages to only those topics. If the parties have to finalize a QDRO and need to exchange financial information, limit communications to the documents and information needed. The parties should not use this opportunity to rehash what happened in the divorce or custody proceedings, or to opine about the other party's new relationship status. Keep communication concise and to the point.

Last, keep the children out of it. Because it's so important, I'll note it again: KEEP THE CHILDREN OUT OF IT. Neither party should use the children as messengers to request schedule changes or to ask about a missing child support check. The children did not get divorced/break up; the parties did. They should not have to feel uncomfortable mentioning their other parent, or making special requests. It's not their fault that the parties can't get along, and they should never have to question if one parent is better than the other. It is also unfair to the other party for a child to make a request, as it makes that parent look "bad" or "mean" if they don't agree.

When the parties cannot follow the above tips, it may be helpful to file a Complaint for Modification (or a Temporary Order, depending on where the parties are in the process) and request that the communication guidelines be made an actual order or judgment. That way, if one party refuses to communicate appropriately, they can be found in Contempt and assigned certain penalties such as the loss of decision making power.

Another option is to obtain the services of a Parenting Coordinator who can act as a mediator or referee. However, both parties must agree to use a Parenting Coordinator, and the costs can quickly add up if the parties are constantly in disagreement.


Communicating effectively with an ex can be very difficult and draining. But if both parties commit to following the above guidelines, they can make significant progress towards keeping communications civil, relevant and concise.


(c)2015 by Law Office of Leila J. Wons The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established. In accordance with rules established by the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, this blog must be labeled "advertising."

Can You Modify a Child Support Order From Another State?

It is very common for parents to move to another state some time after a court issues a child support order.  The question then arises as to whether or not that parent's new home state can modify the existing child support order. On February 23, 2015, the Supreme Judicial Court issued its decision on Cohen v. Cohen,  which explains Massachusetts courts' jurisdiction over existing child support orders and whether or not those orders can be modified here.

Under the Uniform Interstate Family Support Act (UIFSA), Massachusetts has the power to enforce child support orders from other states. However, it cannot modify an order if the state issuing the child support order still has continuing and exclusive jurisdiction. To know whether or not the issuing state has continuing and exclusive jurisdiction, you must ask 2 questions:  First, does either parent or the child still reside in the issuing state? Second, if at least one of them still lives in the issuing state, have the parties provided written consent for Massachusetts to take over jurisdiction?

In Cohen, the parties had a child support order out of California. While the Father eventually moved to Massachusetts, the Mother and child remained in California. As such, California retained exclusive and continuing jurisdiction over the child support order. The SJC found that, although Massachusetts had the power to enforce the California child support order (by having the Massachusetts Department of Revenue garnish the Father's wages and by ordering attorney's fees for the Husband's failure to comply with the order) Massachusetts did not have the power to modify the order. For example, a Probate and Family Court in Massachusetts had changed the original order to include payment for uninsured medical expenses and college tuition, which was wrong.

If you have questions about an existing child support order, please contact Attorney Leila Wons to discuss your options and review your matter.


(c)2015 by Law Office of Leila J. Wons The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established. In accordance with rules established by the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, this blog must be labeled "advertising."

Can a Judge Order you to Use a Parent Coordinator?

Earlier this month, The Supreme Judicial Court issued its decision on Bower v. Bournay-Bower, which addressed the Probate and Family Court's powers as they relate to the appointment of a Parent Coordinator.

A Parent Coordinator is a trained mental health or legal professional who helps parents with the implementation or creation of a parenting plan, who helps resolve disputes as they arise, and who can assist parents in understanding what is in the children's best interests.  Many people include a provision in their Agreements stating that they will use a Parent Coordinator prior to filing court actions. This is done in an effort to resolve matters quickly and more affordably, because a Parent Coordinator will often be available on relatively short notice to assist with everyday or urgent conflicts, and the parties can share the cost of the Parent Coordinator equally or in proportion to their incomes.  In some circumstances, the parties specifically agree to give the Parent Coordinator the power to make binding decisions that they must follow unless and until they obtain a different decision from the Court.

Prior to the Bower decision, it was unclear whether or not a Probate and Family Court Judge could order the parties to use a Parent Coordinator (if they did not agree to use one), and to what extent the Parent Coordinator could be involved. The Bower case involved a divorced couple who was ordered by their Judge to use a Parent Coordinator, and to have that Parent Coordinator make binding decisions that they had to follow unless and until they obtained a different decision by the Judge.

Through Bower, the SJC made it clear that a Probate and Family Court Judge possesses the authority to appoint Parent Coordinators in appropriate circumstances (a) in order to  conserve limited judicial resources and aid in the court's functioning and capacity to decide cases; or (b) if it is necessary to ensure the best interests of the children in a divorce or custody-related proceeding.  However, unless both parties agree, a Judge cannot give the Parent Coordinator the power to make binding decisions that the parties must abide by.

The SJC explained that forcing a party to be bound by a Parent Coordinator's decision would essentially be taking away that party's right under Article 11 of the Massachusetts Declaration of Rights, which grants an individual the right to "seek recourse under the law for all injuries or wrongs to persons, property, or character."  In addition, preventing a party from filing an appropriate Complaint or Motion in the Probate and Family Court until the Parent Coordinator had first made a binding decision would also infringe on the party's right to "seek recourse under the law."

The SJC also addressed situations that may involve domestic violence, and how it would be inappropriate and potentially dangerous to force a party to wait until a Parent Coordinator makes a binding decision before filing appropriate documents in court. It would be forcing a party to choose between safety and access to the courts.

Another concern cited by the SJC was the financial implication of forcing a party to use a Parent Coordinator. There are currently no regulations regarding the training, licensing or monitoring of Parent Coordinators, or the fee structures. As such, Parent Coordinators are often very expensive, and there may be situations where it would be inequitable and even financially detrimental to force a party to use a Parent Coordinator in lieu of going to Court.

In its decision, the SJC referred the matter to the Probate and Family Court to "review and consider the promulgation of a rule governing the appointment of parent coordinators. A rule will help to ensure that procedural and substantive safeguards are in place in any appointment of a parent coordinator to address issues including the selection of a parent coordinator, the points in proceedings when parties may be referred to a parent coordinator, the nature and scope of the authority that may be granted to a parent coordinator, and issues related to the apportionment and payment of the parent coordinator's fees."   In other words, the SJC wants there to be strict guidelines on the use of Parent Coordinators. 

(c)2014 by Law Office of Leila J. Wons. The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established. In accordance with rules established by the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, this blog must be labeled "advertising."

Extracurricular Acitivites: How Many and Who Pays?

With the Olympics come the sentimental commercials of Olympians thanking their parents for helping them become the athletes they are today.  We see images of these young Olympians learning how to walk on a ski slope, falling down over and over, and being woken up in the very early morning hours for practice. Not every child will become an Olympic athlete, and not every family will even consider the possibility of making such a commitment.  So what happens when two divorced or never-married parents have differing opinions on the extracurricular activities that a child will participate in? Who pays for the cost of these activities?

 As with many other decisions to be made regarding children, a Judge will determine what is in the child's best interest when deciding whether or not a child should continue or start an activity, and who should be responsible for the cost. In addition to looking at the history of involvement in a certain activity, the court will also consider the impact – if any – that the activity may have on parenting time, as well as the income of the parties and the cost of the activity.

 In many situations, the parties include in their agreement language that allows the children to participate in agreed-upon extracurricular activities, with agreement not to be “unreasonably denied.” For those activities that are agreed-upon, the parties include language stating that they will share equally the cost of those activities. The question, then, is “what is reasonable?”  The answer to this question will vary with each situation, but some good rules of thumb are:  A child should be able to participate in extracurricular activities, but those activities should not significantly infringe on parenting time. In addition, if a child had engaged in an activity throughout the parties’ relationship, the child should be able to continue doing that activity. With regards to payment, the parties should share the cost of reasonable activities, so long as the parties’ incomes have been equitably addressed via child support or alimony.  The key is finding balance between these rules. So if a child had always done one sport per season, it would be reasonable for the child to continue to do so. However, if the child had always done three activities at once, and those activities took significant after-school time and weekend-time, it may not be reasonable to keep the child enrolled in all three activities. Further, if the application of child support still results in one party having significantly higher assets than the other, it may not be equitable for the parties to share in the cost of extracurricular activities.

While it is impossible to predict what a child will be interested in (or talented at), adding language into an agreement that sets parameters for the number of and payment for activities can save the parties from future court battles and headaches, Olympic athlete or not!  


(c)2014  by Law Office of Leila J. Wons The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established. In accordance with rules established by the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, this blog must be labeled "advertising."

How long does the divorce process take?

Everyone has heard horror stories about divorces dragging on for years, with families and children caught in the middle of a seemingly unending war. The reality is that, depending on the parties and their dedication to resolving their outstanding issues, a divorce can take as little as a month, to as long as several years.

For Contested Divorces
Upon the filing of a Complaint for Divorce, the case is assigned to a 14 month track. This means that the courts do not want the entire divorce matter (from initial filing through trial) to take longer that 14 months. Unfortunately, they often take much longer than that, especially if the case is very contentious, there are multiple court appearances to address temporary orders, and/or the parties change counsel.

No earlier than 6 months after the filing of a  divorce complaint, the parties will be assigned a date for a Pre-Trial Conference. At this hearing, the parties must present memoranda to the Judge, letting him/her know what stipulations the parties have reached and what issues remain outstanding. If the parties still cannot resolve their matter following the pre-trial conference, they will be assigned a trial date. Usually, the trial is scheduled for many months after the Pre-Trial Conference. Sometimes, due to the Judge's calendar, the trial is scheduled 9 months out!

If the parties reach an agreement after the Pre-Trial Conference but before trial, they can usually present the agreement on any day that the Judge is hearing cases. The divorce then becomes final 90 days from the hearing date.

In situations where the parties reach an agreement prior to their Pre-Trial Conference and prior to the expiration of 6 months from the date of filing for divorce, the parties must convert their Complaint for Divorce to a Joint Petition for Divorce. This is a simple matter that includes the filing of a Motion, but the extra work is certainly worth the convenience of not having to wait until a full 6 months have gone by.

For Uncontested Divorces
If the parties agree to file Jointly for Divorce, the process is much faster. Once a Separation Agreement has been signed, all of the paperwork is filed with the appropriate court. A docket number and a Judge are assigned to the case, and a hearing date is assigned. On the day of the hearing, the parties present their agreement to the Judge for approval, and the divorce becomes final 120 days thereafter. In many instances, the parties can present their agreement earlier than their assigned hearing date, so long as they obtain permission from the clerk. As such, if the Courts process the paperwork quickly and the parties obtain permission to present their agreement early, the divorce can take as little as a month.

While unexpected conflicts and the Judge's calendar play a role in the length of time a divorce can take, it ultimately falls to the parties. The more contentious the matter, the longer it will take. For this reason, it is always beneficial to do a cost-benefit analysis when fighting over a specific issue. Is the fight worth the cost to prepare for court, attend the hearing and do the follow-up paperwork?  Perhaps not.

(c)2014 by Law Office of Leila J. Wons. The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established. In accordance with rules established by the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, this blog must be labeled "advertising."

Parenting Time During School Vacations

As children get older and start attending school, parents who are not living together will have to determine how/if they will amend their parenting plan to accommodate school vacations (if a provision for same has not already been included in a temporary order or judgment). There are many ways to divide vacation time between parents, and there is no "wrong" answer so long as the parents are doing what is in the children's best interest. Most parents will alternate school vacations each year, so that in odd years parent A takes the children from Monday through Friday while parent B takes the children in even years. Other parents may decide to split the vacation in half, so that  parent A has the children from the last day of school through mid-week, while parent B takes the children from mid-week through the Monday morning that school reconvenes.

For the most part, agreements or court orders made regarding vacations supersede the regular parenting schedule. So if during the school year parent A has the children every other weekend from Friday evening through Monday morning and for an overnight each Wednesday, but the parties have agreed to alternate school vacations each year, parent A may not have any vacation time with the minor child(ren) if it is not his or her vacation year.  While this may seem unfair at the time, it ends up working out over the years. However, if going so long without seeing a parent would be detrimental to the child(ren), the parents can agree to include a mid-week visit with the non-vacation parent, or to give that parent the weekend immediately following or preceding the vacation.

February school vacation is fast approaching, and it is best to reach an understanding of how the vacation week will look like as soon as possible. If the parties are unable to come to an agreement, a party can seek assistance from the court.


(c)2014 by Law Office of Leila J. Wons.  The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established. In accordance with rules established by the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, this blog must be labeled "advertising."

When to use the Department of Revenue

When deciding on a child support amount, the parties must also determine whether or not they want to use the Department of Revenue (DOR) for collecting and distributing payments. While going through DOR may not work for everyone, I usually recommend it. DOR keeps track of every payment received, calculates interest, and can take necessary enforcement steps if the payor is not current on his/her payments. For example, DOR can have the payor's driver's license suspended, can intercept tax returns, can garnish wages, or can even have a passport revoked.

Having DOR involved also makes it easy to present to a judge a detailed report of every payment made, in the event that the parties return to court on a Complaint for Contempt or Modification. This is much easier than combing through bank statements and deposit slips to figure out the arrears amount. 

If you decide not to go through DOR initially, you can always request DOR's services at a later date, unless a court order specifically prevents you from doing so. As there are DOR offices in many courthouses throughout Massachusetts, it is fast and easy to obtain the necessary paperwork and submit it.

Go to the Department of Revenue-Child Support Enforcement website to learn more.

(c)2014 by Law Office of Leila J. Wons The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established. In accordance with rules established by the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, this blog must be labeled "advertising."

Speaking to Children About Divorce

Speaking to your children about divorce can be an extremely difficult process. Parents often disagree on the amount of knowledge children should have about the divorce process and what his/her parents are going through. Some parents feel that the children should be fully informed regarding the status of the divorce (i.e. when the parents are going to court, what the issues are, etc.) while others believe that children don't need to know anything other than the existence of a pending divorce.  Depending on the child's age, it is advised that children not be given detailed information about the pending proceedings, as that will likely cause unnecessary stress and anxiety. Likewise, children should not be left in the dark about his/her parent's relationship. It is important to let children know that a divorce is taking place, but it is difficult to determine the right way to do it. Should the parents talk to the children individually? Should there be a family meeting? Is this something that is better handled in therapy or even with the assistance of a favorite teacher? There is no right answer, but fortunately there are some tools to help.

Sesame Street has recently released a series of videos and other tools to help children understand that they are not alone, and that it is OK to have and share certain feelings about the process. Showing children these videos may help prepare them for an open conversation about the pending divorce, or may help to follow-up with a conversation that has already taken place. You can find a link to these videos here.

In addition to the Sesame Street videos, there is a large amount of literature available to help parents address the divorce process with their children, as well as books specifically catered to children of divorce. Some of my recommendations include:

• Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way by M. Gary Neuman;
• Divorce is Not the End of the World: Zoe's and Evan's Coping Guide for Kids by Zoe and Evan Stern;
• Two Homes, by Claire Masurel

(c)2014 by Law Office of Leila J. Wons The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established. In accordance with rules established by the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, this blog must be labeled "advertising."

A Few Words of Advice from a Minnesota Judge

Judge Michael Haas of Cass County Minnesota retired in 2002 after 26 years of service as a Judge. The following 200 words issued by him (we are not certain whether they were stated on or off the record) have been referenced in multiple appellate court decisions and in Lawyer's Weekly. Judge Haas put into very simple terms a concept that so many people fail to grasp, and that are crucial for parents to understand when they are going through a break-up.

"Your children have come into this world because of the two of you. Perhaps you two made lousy choices as to whom you decided to be the other parent. If so, that is YOUR problem and YOUR fault.

"No matter what you think of the other party -- or what your family thinks of the other party -- these children are one-half of each of you. Remember that, because every time you tell your child what an 'idiot' his father is, or what a 'fool' his mother is, or how bad the absent parent is, or what terrible things that person has done, you are telling the child half of HIM is bad.

"That is an unforgivable thing to do to a child. That is not love! That is possession. If you do that to your children, you will destroy them as surely as if you had cut them into pieces, because that is what you are doing to their emotions.

"I sincerely hope that you do not do that to your children. Think more about your children and less about yourselves, and make yours a selfless kind of love, not foolish or selfish, or your children will suffer."

(c)2014 by Law Office of Leila J. Wons The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established. In accordance with rules established by the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, this blog must be labeled "advertising."

Parental Alienation

One of the most difficult cases I work on are those dealing with parental alienation.  Parental alienation often occurs during or following divorce, and is characterized by a child expressing unreasonable, unjustified and strong dislike or even hatred for a parent. Most often, alienation occurs against the non-custodial parent, though it often takes place in situations where parents share physical custody of their child.

There are several things that can trigger alienation, though the most common appears to be the result of repeated negative remarks and ideas expressed by one parent against or about the alienated parent. As children are very intuitive and hear much more than we think, they are easily influenced by negative conversations or remarks they may hear about one parent. In additon, as divorce is a very difficult event in a child's life, he may turn to scapegoating as a coping mechanism, thus unreasonably blaming one parent for the breakdown of the family unit.

It is important to take action as soon as possible if it appears that alienation is taking place or being attempted. The longer a child is exposed to negative comments about one parent, and the longer she is allowed to act on these unreasonable feelings by refusing to attend visitation or by not following that parent's rules, the harder it will be to undo the damage and re-establish a healthy parent/child relationship. 

On June 8, 2012, a judgment was issued in the matter of Hendren v. Lee out of the Middlesex Probate and Family Court. This Judgment of Modification transferred sole legal and physical custody of the parties' son to the mother, the alienated parent. The judgment included a provision that the mother and child attend weekly reunification therapy and that the Father, his family, his friends and the son's siblings cease all contact with son for 90 days in order to effectuate said reunification. Unfortunately, the parties' older children were by this time beyond the jurisdiction of the court and could not be made to attend therapy with their Mother.  As such, it is very possible that, due to the one parent's repeated alienation, this mother will never have a relationship with her older children. The children will likely never be able to attend holiday meals together at their mother's home, or take family vacations with their mother.  As the court noted, this sort of alienation is not a child's best interest.  Further, studies show that children succeed more in life if they have healthy, loving relationships with both parents.

In sum, parental alienation is a tragic yet common occurence that can be prevented by seeking assistance from the court at the earliest sign that parental alienation being attempted.




(c) 2014 by Law Office of Leila J. Wons. The information you obtain at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established. In accordance with rules established by the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, this blog must be labeled "advertising."

Divorce Homework

You have decided to file for Divorce . . . now what?

The decision to file for divorce is an extremely emotional one. It is never spontaneous, and is always the result of serious and thoughtful considerations. Likewise, the process of actually filing for divorce should be carefully thought out and planned. Jumping into the divorce “deep-end” is not the best option; dipping your toes in the water and slowly immersing yourself in the legal process will prevent you from quickly sinking and getting in over your head.

The first thing to do – even prior to hiring an experienced divorce and family law attorney – is to gather documents about your finances.

·        This includes finding out details about your money: Where is it kept? Who has access to it? What are the account numbers? What paperwork must you fill out to obtain statements for the past three years?  With regards to retirement accounts, the analysis will be the same: Who is in charge of investing our funds? Have any withdrawals been made recently? How can I obtain information regarding past investments, contributions and withdrawals?

·        You will also want to run a credit report to determine whether there are credit cards or loans in your name that you are not aware of, and also to see just how many open balances there are. Gather past account statements and determine who to contact to obtain additional ones, if necessary.

·        With regards to your home, make sure you know where the mortgage is held, what your monthly payments are, how those payments are made (i.e. direct transfer from a separate bank account) and what the outstanding balance is. Does this payment include taxes and insurance? Are there any outstanding property taxes due?

·        Next, you will also want to make a list of all of your monthly expenses: Who provides the cable, Internet and phone services, whose name are these under, and how are they paid? What about electric and heat? How is health insurance paid and how much do you spend each month on prescriptions for yourself and for the family?

·        With regards to the children, if any, what activities are they enrolled in, how much do these cost, and who is billed for them? Are any of the activities automatically deducted from a bank account or charged on a credit card?

Second, you need to obtain a certified copy of your marriage certificate. If you can’t find your original, contact the town hall in the city you were married in and they will explain the process. Unless you were married outside of the United States, the Court will not allow you to file your Complaint for Divorce without your marriage certificate (unless there are emergency circumstances present, in which case the court may allow you to file the certificate late via a Motion.)

Third, create a plan of action. If you have funds readily available for retaining counsel, or even if you have to proceed with Limited Assistance Representation, schedule a consultation with a dedicated divorce lawyer.  During your meeting, discuss the divorce process in depth, review potential problems that may arise given your specific circumstances, and also create a homework list for things that need to be completed prior to or immediately following the filing of your Complaint for Divorce.

 Making the decision to file for divorce is the first, and sometimes hardest, step towards resolving your family law matters. Doing your “homework”, seeking experienced legal assistance and becoming informed about the divorce process will ensure that you stay afloat in the dark and often tumultuous waters of the legal system.

(c) 2014 The Law Office of Leila J. Wons. The information contained herein is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship and does not constitute legal advice.
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