A Few Words of Advice from a Minnesota Judge

Judge Michael Haas of Cass County Minnesota retired in 2002 after 26 years of service as a Judge. The following 200 words issued by him (we are not certain whether they were stated on or off the record) have been referenced in multiple appellate court decisions and in Lawyer's Weekly. Judge Haas put into very simple terms a concept that so many people fail to grasp, and that are crucial for parents to understand when they are going through a break-up.

"Your children have come into this world because of the two of you. Perhaps you two made lousy choices as to whom you decided to be the other parent. If so, that is YOUR problem and YOUR fault.

"No matter what you think of the other party -- or what your family thinks of the other party -- these children are one-half of each of you. Remember that, because every time you tell your child what an 'idiot' his father is, or what a 'fool' his mother is, or how bad the absent parent is, or what terrible things that person has done, you are telling the child half of HIM is bad.

"That is an unforgivable thing to do to a child. That is not love! That is possession. If you do that to your children, you will destroy them as surely as if you had cut them into pieces, because that is what you are doing to their emotions.

"I sincerely hope that you do not do that to your children. Think more about your children and less about yourselves, and make yours a selfless kind of love, not foolish or selfish, or your children will suffer."

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